No matter what you say
When I started working in Germany, communication was hard, and sometimes almost impossible. I thought the months of self-study were going to be enough to have some conversations in German, but they were not. I landed in a very specific environment where even speaking English was difficult. Added to the German language difficulties, the company and clients had their own intern language. Those days were definitely some of the most difficult times I ever had to communicate with people
Looking back to this experience I can see how certain skills are just developed under high pressure, circumstances where you don’t have more option but to develop some skill to ‘survive’. Even though the hardship is temporary, the skills are there to stay. Some of them, are developed during these ties even without you consciously noticing it.
During the last 2 years I have been often in the situation where I am at an important meeting or conversation and have no clue of most of what is being talked. This situation can be very uncomfortable and hard to deal with. If you a little perfectionist, you push yourself into the idea that you should’ve known this or that already. But the skill that was developed during these times I believe is even more valuable than any knowledge or language.
Listening beyond the conversation
After start getting more and more of these experiences, I noticed some skills being developed that were helping me to figure out a way to deal with such situations. What happened is that I started paying more and more attention to the conversation that was going on in a non-verbal way, to the body language, tone of voice, energy, expressions and feelings in the room. This is nothing new or that I invented, research shows that only a small percentage of our overall message comes from the words we use, but we are rarely aware of it or take it to full advantage.
But, if around 90% of the communication flows through something different than words, why focus so much on the words used? When presenting an idea or project, Is important at all to use the correct words as important as being present and express your idea fully, honestly and from your heart?
Sure, what you say and how you say it may be important, but if the energy you project and the body language you express is not in tune with it, whatever you say will be but noise. As you may remember now most of the communication between people happen in a deeper level and until we start paying attention to it, practice the awareness and openness to take full advantage of it to connect and express more deeply, we will continue trying to understand or communicate with very small part of the spectrum that is going on.
Listen to your heart and train your mind to do it. Feel your body and be open to receive nonverbal feedback from your conversation. Listen and let go of judgement. Because at the end of the day, if you are not in tune with it, whatever you say, will not matter